jessicawritesnow

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Please…It’s okay…or maybe in you’re best interest. March 15, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — jessicawritesnow @ 2:53 pm
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You should see me now.

Go ahead, please hate me. Judge me. Evaluate me. Pyschoanalyze me. Throw a rock at me. Laugh at me (til your gut hurts).  Build me. Assemble me, and Reassemble me. Diagnose me. Prescribe me one more please. Ignore me. You may even fuck with me. Steal from me. Resent me. Talk about me. Warn (your friends) about me. Pretend not to know me at the store. Look through me. Call me a bitch in front of a group of people, during a meeting. Then apologize to me. Twice or Thrise.  But I dare you, I double dog dare you to do the hardest thing of all– even for me–

Get to Know me.

But I guess that’s for sissies. So shrug me off. Say “I tried” to me. Say I’m judgemental. It’s my fault. I have standards. That noone can fill those shoes. I’m untrustworthy. Okay. Alright.

                                 But I’m the one who cries for every one of you who make mistakes

                               that threaten your life, and pray for an intervention. I care no matter what. 

I’m not a martyr. I’m not a saint (fuck no). I’m not walking around with “Jesus in my heart” cause even Jesus would die. No. I know you. I saw you struggle at one point. At one point in my life you helped me. Even if I just saw you at the store or in a meeting. I am not alone. You helped me. You showed up until I internalized that. Then you still showed up for the thick of it. So thank you. I’m grateful. I accept your ‘boundaries’. I guess it’s the understanding I lack–I’m okay with that. So shut me out of your life. I love you. No matter what.  

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