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Revolution sounds better than War. STill we are at War and in a “Conflict”. June 26, 2012

This reminds me of my self-destructive twenties. I think I blow out a bong hit accidentally after I take a long drag off a cigarette. Everyone who wants to Talk Green, always under the table speaks fluently about “man, that last drag tasted like the herb that the Bible mentions.” I laugh. JESUS FREAKS!!! I SPEAKUS FOR JESUS! I started a revolution of my dumbass by dropping out off College (which I worked all my life to obtain a scholarship for–except my middle school years. I learned how to recriminate people in the best way I knew how during the most pointless years of my life (I learned Algebra 1 in 8th grade. hummmm.)

   Disturbed “Prayer”.  

I still thought that I was not the problem. Already resident of two rehabs and a very fancy “we know your nuts, but schedule is everything along with medication.” I rue the days I ever picked up a pill. I never ever had a problem swallowing a pill the Psychiatrists, the ER doctors, my drug addict friends…I’m not learning to ski uphill people. Pills were the bane of my existence. I never thought PROBLEM, until my dad and mother, he pitched and she hit a home run and I landed in another rehab. I detoxed. Never liked de-nothing again. Think about it. Put that de- in front of any word unless it sounds plain unnatural. Horrifying.

Well tomorrow my love and I are taking my father and his friend to Penn State Hershey Medical Center. I finally put into perspective for the assholes that his brain cancer needed attention ASAP. His appointment is with a Neurosurgeon and going into this I know that surgery and chemo are the only options. Just how much time will this “buy” my dad…no one knows but my faithful dog. I wish my dad would choose to say no to a third brain surgery, and no to chemo as well. Live your life just being you. My dad, he will fight like hell. I’m proud, but he battles the tall bony structures of death that loom over him during his nightmares where he runs like hell from death but not exactly towards life.

Negative feedback. I’m so used to that. But people, try to show the ones you love thru action, not words. A Revolution is an act of love. Not War, it’s an act of dissemination.


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