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My father is a Man made of Copper November 9, 2012

Delirium is real.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0014988/ 

My father is a man made of copper. He is valuable, and useful no matter if his head is bandaged or he is in a hospital bed bitching about anything–yesterday when I called him he answered the Phone.  My Dog loves me, because he said “I’m on the port-a-potty taking a shit can we talk later? ” I never wonder where my strange and disturbing perception of life originated. Candid is my nemesis. Any how, I pulled this link from Public Health site about delirium. My dad’s tests for that will be modified for “I’m not right in the head” tests.

 

I Have a Feeling a Better one than Last Night… November 7, 2012

Image

at the age of 20 (me) I looked so much like this, when I saw the image I saved it. Listen, not pulling a fast one–I’m old now. twenty plus 18 years…the dog never stops chasing my heels.

You know, I’m proud of the junkies from the dirt path up to the junkie with a pretty habit cause I know they voted. No one ever asks about more services (social) for the knocked up crack heads or the pill poppers. Who fights for them? Grossly underpaid and very stressed out social workers who need new office chairs because while the addicts lost their weight and a real live dead skeleton would weigh more, social workers (my mom for one) worked hours and years and decades and now have the asses of, ummm,oh yeah inner tubes I use to swim on as a kid. They deserve compensation and a damn good reason why…yo no se. I voted around 8 pm. Father had brain surgery on Sept. 13, 2012 and he arrived to his house last week, well, he fell and broke his femur  My awesome husband drove me to the hospital in York PA (an hour and one half drive)–my dad is a fukin bionic man. 7o years old,  three brain surgery’s, prostate cancer (in remission) and I think it all started with a hole in his lung (I never said  he was the Marlboro Man). He retired from his job of 20 years just this past August.  Hope everyone is well. Thank you for reading my blog. If any of you know why a vagina’s and ass hole resemble one another–kind of in holes and out holes, really make my day and put your spin on things. Go Prez!!!

 

Mind/Mood Altered by Substances October 28, 2012

 

Poison

flowed thru every artery

every vein, and my life-time

promise to boil  my brain convened.

I aimed to live my life in vain and insane.

In tatters this, what matters, never that,

If you are not God highlighted step away.

In fact, watch out for stray lightning bolts

which want a person to feel electronightified.

Every one else in the vicinity of this universe

Scientists believe smog enhances your life–

Smog also clouds your vision. Light sticks…

I hate you too– you fucking mirror, oh my,

dear wrecking mirror clinging for life on a

random wall– all you show is the horror of

my neglect, Promise me, than mock me, but

swear this is my last call in front of  a mirror.

Then assure me, with the recipe in my hand,

when I ingest on my behest, I’m on the way

to the Real Fall. Jig’s up Jesus, you fell on

pillow principles, watch a true murderer of

the cause. Not a single breath wasted.

 

I’m a Bubble Ninja-I Pop in Your bad Eye ANd The Other I BLind October 17, 2012

One day I fell in deep like with “to blow” some  bubbles on the thick green patch of lawn at my disposal at school

Unfortunately, for the bubbles and I when I blow them they  burst in my eyes.

The next day I blew bubbles in spite of the whites of my red and irritated eyes.

The following day it rained and a depression shot downwards into my spinal cord as cold and as quick as life matters.

I picked up my bubble paraphernalia; I blow bubbles because I’m on this earth to do exactly that.

Not to blow bubbles asshole, but to repeat the same mistake–with every implication of insanity

Again and over again–if only I shit rainbows or ate razor blades–I blow bubbles with each one to burst in my eye.

Like I said, repeat the same mistake and fuck myself parallel. Got it?

Picture: Gabrielle Rossetti “FlamingJune” So sumptuous.

 

Engage in some. (So I don’t feel like I must) October 10, 2012

Labor

I push the rock up the hill,

so hard it falls down the other side.Image

Slowly, I walk up the hill,

and down the other side.

It looks the same–another hill.

Once more I push the rock up the hill,

so hard it falls down the other side.

I struggle to walk up the hill,

then down the other side.  Great.

It looks like a mountain this time.

Another hill piled upon another hill.

Again I push the rock up the mountain,

so hard it falls down the other side.

Now I’m crawling up the mountain

Then my old bones tumble down— I ache.

As I lay weary and tired…sleep descends

upon my ragged body…I dream of

cumulus clouds puffy and mountainous.

I lay there asleep  in a ball.  The rock rested.

Seriously, What the hell is the point?

.

 

Impressed? Will the Real God Please Stay Seated? October 3, 2012

Drinking booze at 13

( and loving the illegal’s), 

Cool, chill, Hank is all thrills.

My muther father Bukowski heart me.

what a physical thrill to instill.

Ambien, Lunesta, Ativan,

a sleep managed by man.

Luvox, Effexor, Welbutrin,

the doctor’s guess as good as mine.

Lithium, Depakote, Tegretol,

am I rock steady yet?

Serequel, Zyprexa, Risperadol,

I’m 400lbs. but I’m not hallucinating.

Methadone, Morphine, Oxy,

opiates that increase the pain, mental.

Oh what the hell, if meds didn't work.

Just another day in hell.

I’ve taken more meds than this in my lifetime.

I’m still insane and searching for the right feeling of fine.

 

CRS August 11, 2012

I’m horrified that I arrived home with the excitement of a girl holding the secret to the perfect movie, and all the action to surfeit disclosure depended on me inserting this disk dohickee into the greedy, hungry slot of the extraexperimental machine beneath my TV in a wooden slot:it lives there. When I sung out in chords never received by the ambience of our little homepad the safe arrival of my jewel to my cohort in life he sung back in a b flat tenor: we saw that movie. I try to recall the plot (twists?) or god it sucked asscubes, but the medication for my migraines, though I stopped it a week ago, still not only keeps my shit out of my ass stupid it also has a lagging effect of making it deeper too.

Not even my dog can pull me out of this fast enough, Miraculax?

 

 
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